Why do some men run a mile from intelligent women? Gentlemen might say they prefer brains to blondes , but it seems that when faced with a romantic evening of oysters with a woman who might have far-superior brain power, many would rather pass to spend it with someone with far less mental wattage. For a new study, psychologists at the University of Buffalo, California Lutheran University and University of Texas questioned men with a series of experiments and discovered that smart women made them feel less masculine. Put bluntly, they feel threatened. As a neuroscientist — and a woman to boot! In theory, men may like the idea of a partner with a successful career; perhaps it plays to their inner George Clooney. Amal is way up there. For those specimens not quite in the Clooney league, the prospect of being overshadowed by a partner is intolerable. Not all, but many men are only comfortable when they can have the last word.
15 Highs and Lows of Dating Someone Smarter Than You
But for men, the more work they have to put into the chase and seduction, the more value they attach to the woman. Which is why I suggest you hang back and let a man take the lead. Often, if a man is interested in you, he will step up to the plate and work harder to woo you. We live in the digital media era. Sometimes this is great, but when dating for texting and direct guys have no tonality, good guys can end before they have an opportunity to even start.
that men prefer to date women who are less intelligent than they are. It’s about wanting someone who prioritizes their life in a way that’s.
Subscriber Account active since. Ever wonder why your best friend — a total genius with the biggest brain and warmest heart — is dating some “loser” in your eyes who doesn’t treat her nearly as well as you know she deserves? Or why your colleague whose shoes you dream of filling someday comes to the office every morning complaining about her husband’s absolutely cringe-worthy behaviors?
Well, research says that these types of women are actually more likely to become “addicted” to toxic men than others. In other words, the people you’d never expect to fall for those who treat them horribly are So why do women with such high standards in seemingly every other aspect of their lives seem to have such low standards in relationships? It’s a lot more complicated than you’d think — and in the end, it has next to nothing to do with low standards or weaknesses!
Successful women are successful because they’ve put in the work. They know that commitment reaps rewards, and they apply that same attitude in their relationships.
What Guys Really Think About Dating Smart Women, According To 21 Men
My friend’s boyfriend is charming, a gentleman, and great in bed. She’s a hard-news reporter and Web producer who craves intellectual stimulus outside of her job. When a guy can’t keep up with her as she discusses the news, debates the merits of legal reforms, and cracks sarcastic, witty jokes, she notices that she immediately gets turned off.
She’s not the first and hardly the only woman to express a similar sentiment: Some women need a challenge , a man who encourages her to be her fastest, smartest self.
Self-presentation processes in person. dating a guy less intelligent than you. Be honest – would you rather date someone less intelligent. Jay trusted the hood.
Stupid people tend to overestimate their competence, while smart people tend to sell themselves short. The phenomenon is now known as the Dunning-Kruger effect. Meanwhile, a study , also led by Schellenberg, suggested that high-achieving kids were the ones most likely to take music lessons. In other words, in the real world, musical training may only enhance cognitive differences that already exist.
Norwegian epidemiologists used military records to examine the birth order, health status, and IQ scores of nearly , and year-old men born between and Results showed that the average firstborn had an IQ of , compared to for second children and 99 for third children. And it found that the difference was not because of biological factors but the psychological interplay of parents and children. For this and other reasons, firstborns tend to be more successful but notthat much more successful than their siblings.
For a study , scientists gave roughly 2, adults intelligence tests over a five-year period and results suggested that the bigger the waistline, the lower the cognitive ability. Another study published that same year found that year-olds who scored lower on verbal and nonverbal tests were more likely to be obese in their 40s. The study authors say that smarter kids might have pursued better educational opportunities, landed higher-status and higher-paying jobs, and therefore ended up in a better position to take care of their health than their less intelligent peers.
Meanwhile, a more recent study found that, among preschoolers, a lower IQ was linked to a higher BMI. Those researchers also say environmental factors are at play, since the relationship between BMI and smarts was mediated by socioeconomic status.
CCers: Would you date someone who was less intelligent than you?
We’ve got articles, videos and forum discussions that provide answers to all of your test prep, admissions and college search questions. Finding the right college for your unique situation can be challenging. Hear from other students who shared their admissions story. She speaks all over Maine on mental health issues. CC’s “Dean,” Sally Rubenstone , knows the competitive and often convoluted college admissions process inside out. She is hoping to pursue a career in healthcare, but is also interested in finance and business management.
15 Highs and Lows of Dating Someone Smarter Than You more IQ points than you do does not make you any less of a person, and men importantly, any less.
Scientists at the University of Buffalo, have found that men find smart women ‘sexy’, but only in theory. A study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that ‘psychological distance’ makes an intelligent woman more attractive. It found that for all the claims by some heterosexual men that they would like a woman who is more intelligent, when confronted with one, men tend to be less attracted to a woman who outsmarted them. While previous studies of attraction have suggested that proximity makes someone more appealing, the Buffalo study found the reverse when the woman was smarter than the man especially if he had claimed he was attracted to that quality.
When men expected to interact with a woman who was spatially distant e. However, when men interacted with a real woman who was spatially near e. Park suggested that men, when interacting with a woman who is smarter than them, can feel a ‘momentary shift in their self-evaluation’ such as feeling emasculated , which leads them to feel less attracted to smarter woman. The disconnect could be between how they feel when there is ‘psychological distance’ and how they feel in situations where ‘social comparison’ takes place.
There is a disconnect between what people appear to like in the abstract when someone is unknown and when that same person is with them in some immediate social context. The studies also found that this disconnect between abstract and the reality of meeting a woman, only occurred when the ‘domain’, in this case intelligence , mattered to the man. Park continued:. Yet, if you care a lot about the domain, then you might prefer that quality in somebody who is distant, then feel threatened when that person gets close to you.
The six studies all focused on heterosexual male opinions of women, so it is for future research to discover if the same disconnect applies to women’s attraction to men. A later study led by Park conducted in , found that female preference for a male partner who was more intelligent than they were, was preventing the women from advancing in STEM industries science, technology, engineering, and mathematics.
5 Signs You’re More Emotionally Intelligent Than Your Partner & How To Deal
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Recently my friend Jennifer Wright at TheGloss. She asked me about why this might be, assuming it was true at all. Then she wrote about it for The Gloss. Here’s my answer :. I think its more complex than that. Smart women rationally respond to this by spending more time in school acquiring the tools they think they need in the knowledge economy, and once in the work force, working more and harder. The rewards for the dumb staying in school or working long hours are considerably smaller, so they rationally choose more leisure time.
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When it comes to love, sometimes what we say we want and what we actually wind up wanting can be two totally different things. Take for example the complex topic of what men honestly think about dating an intelligent woman. If you ask a guy how he feels about dating a smart woman, he’ll probably say something along the lines of, “Sure, I don’t care,” or even, “Yes! Intelligence is extremely attractive!
Buy At Our Wits’ End: Why We’re Becoming Less Intelligent and What it Means that we are significantly less intelligent now than we were a hundred years ago.
Last Updated: June 4, References. To create this article, 23 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. This article has been viewed 82, times. Learn more Your partner not being as intelligent as you like does not mean an end to a relationship because you can come to accept that fact by focusing on the positive parts of your relationship and the qualities in your partner that you like. Everyone has positive and negative characteristics, and not everyone is or can be academically successful.
That said, there are certainly other things about your partner that you admire and love.